what not to do

i could write a novel on this topic.

anyways




do not:



firstly. be sitting in your room, which looks like russia has invented a bomb that contains masses of dresses and material, that accidently went off in your general vicinity. and do not NOT clean up or put the reminents of the explosion in a proper place.


secondly. do not decide that you will go looking in your garage, which seems like a whole world of absolute useless junk, and decide that from in this world, you will find something to put all of this material and dresses in- so you can use them at a later date.


thirdly.DO NOT DECIDE ON AN OLD BAR FRIDGE FOR THIS PURPOSE


fourthy. do not collect a bag of tools and unscrew the back, the top and the side screws of this fridge. then, do not get a MASSIVE pair of pliars- one that is so big it is half your size-and then use these to cut the chords and peices of metal that are connecting the back wire of the fridge to the bottom gear thingo.
because, from this a werid noise will begin to billow out of these cut peices of metal, and it will smell a little like gas or petrol


fifhty. at this point, do not take for granted if it occurs so that your brother will arrive home at that moment and say "what the hell are you doing millie" and automatically know that you are in a spot of bother.


sixthly. again, do not take for granted the fact that your ten year old brother seems to be smarter than you and cuts the bit of metal even further back and then bends the tip over itself so it stop the gassing buisness.


sevenly. at this point, do not think "okay it will be fine! yay, fridge here i come"

because i can tell you it will not be fine.


eithley. at this juncture. it would be advisible to retun the fridge whence it came, and go back to cutting up orange jungle-like cushion covers to hang on the wall so your room looks like a jungle.

it would not be advisible to, with much difficulty, drag out the fridge using one of those trolley things, and dump it on the grass. then rinse it out, and then proceed to again use this trolley to take the fridge into your room.


ninthley. from here, getting it into your room, do not attempt to put the bar fridge in various different positions, before deciding that, "you know what? this wont work."


tenthly. now, do not allow your brother to come into your room and point out the fact that your mother will murder you will a string of your odd socks when she discovers your evening activites. then, at this realisation, do not beg your brother to help you lift the fridge back up and onto the trolley, then wheel it to the garage. and when he refuses, do not offer him money. because then he wont be satisfied with only ten, but will lean against the wall until your offer goes up to twenty.


eleventhly. do not speed the fridge up the drive and into the garage, then very throughly attempt to eliminate any shrad of evidence that might suggest you had been dismantling a fridge and dragging it throughout the house.


twelthy. do not take for granted if your mother will have perfect timing and arrive home just as you had sat down. and then do not leave a dirty towel outside without an explanation.





this is what not to do.

"you know me, im impulisve"

the dying swn

i want to be as beautiful as this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmeDILoBdAo&feature=related

please yes :)

was it worth it

this makes me feel sick

it makes me want to be completley numb

it makes me feel so scared at the magnificence of it

it scares the living crap out of me

i wish i wasnt, but im terrorfied

pictures and words

im rather tired

"'Literature is a luxury; fiction is a necessity.'
G K Chesterton

my day

and im feeling a bit

lost

and i just wish i could

fly

and then dissapear to

the moon

with my new amazing cup

just for a while

until

the clouds become electric

hi my name is moreen and i'm going to rape you gently in your sleep

hi my name is millie

i'm a magician

which explains the ridiculous amount of stuff

ALL

over my floor

but if someone has a party

im set

:)

plans in action

i need to put plans in action

now.

in this clarity

of the path the other way

neither, neither path

my path.

Yeah .

talk.

at six thirteen am on a friday morning Lucy Angkatell's big blue eyes opened upon another day, and as always, she was at ocne wide awake and began immediatley to deal with the problems conjured up by her incredibly active mind.

i hate words. i have so much against words

they never mean what i want them to mean

and i always hate how they sound when i say them

BUT

i dont want to loose things, do i?

i want to be over here, and not over there

i want to have an open mind

and maybe i can live my life teetering everywere, maybe this is okay?

maybe this is exiting?

maybe i should just fuck it

and pick life.

even though its not that easy

but maybe i'm the only one who knows that.

im still not going anywhere

its almost like a would you rather.

but without peacocks or sardines.

ill just sit here, for little while longer

tied to a tree, to make sure i dont slip left by accident

but getting my courage to leap over.

i just need sum o' dat shiz

and im set.

i wish i was gangster

that would be so fun.

a dress in blue

I don't care if it hurts,

I want to have control.

I want a perfect body,

I want a perfect soul.

I want you to notice,when I'm not around.

You're so fucking special,I wish I was special.

oh wow
they such amazing lyrics
go radiohead for looking into my head right now
and going back in time and writing that in 1993
that didnt happen, but still

chips, mango sorbet, tea, rolls


i am currently sitting on my bed,
in my immensley messy room

but i kindof like it


i like my loud music, and my room with clothes, and pointe shoes
and bags, and rose petals, and paper and pencils
and hats and bags
everywhere
i like it.

amelia said to give myself twenty four hours
and maybe i will, i think i shall.

not now, not tomorrow.

maybe the week after

im at a cross roads.
apparently
and i really hate capital letters and long sentences.

but i dont know which one to pick
i know the one i should pick.
and the one i want to pick
but at the same time
the other path is so strong
and less painful
and easier.
i dont know how to make the "good" path easier and bearable
like the "bad" one

maybe im just lazy
but i really like this song
and my toes hurt like a mother bitch
:)

figments of the imagination

i dont believe in awkward

i believe that music is only ment be played loud

i believe in illusion

i dont believe in perfection

i believe in beauty in the different

i believe in impulses

i believe in elephants in rooms

i dont believe in being nowhere

i dont believe in good and evil

i believe in invisible rivers made of emotions

i believe in seeing things

i dont believe in the pointlessness

i dont believe in stillness

i believe in the inevitable

i believe in karma

starting now

its so early

i have never blogged this early

outside is calm, quiet

there is an occasional bird sound. but even the clouds arent moving.

im all ready for school, ready for my day.

sailor dress.

golden shoes

pink sock, music sock

grandpa hat

blue eyeliner

its all looking normal

but i wish i could do and do something else

after the same inane mundane thing day after day

bus, train, school, home.

home home home home

its like living on the top of the storm cloud

it seems quiet when you're up there

but you just have to listen for the rumbles underneath to understand where you really are

but its okay.

we do what we can to make life easier

sometimes i think i can cope, sometimes i think i cant

but it comes down to i have to, doesnt it?

we all have to be able to cope

no oen breaks down

or runs away to a tree house in india

that isnt how it works

i dont know how i feel today

maybe i will just go to school

bury myself in my music

bury myself in nmy revision

do some lunch time dancing

and just ignore it

that's so much easier

ready?

i wish i could tell you, i really wish i could

i wish i could open up my chest, because i most certainly would

and the music would spill out in the form of saxaphones and songs

then perhaps this explanation wouldnt be so hard and long

i wish i could take you back, back through all the scenes

then you would witness the day, and the falling leaves

the tables, the words, the thoughts and the days

maybe then i wouldnt be feeling so alone and dazed

i wish i could hand you my senses

maybe you would see my world through my lenses

they heighten when i feel the heat, or when i drink some tea

i wish you could hear and feel this, maybe just for me?

i wish you could hold my hands, and feel these feelings too

if i had to share them with someone,i hope it could be you

and you would feel the heat and the raging storms

having someone sitting with me, maybe i wouldnt feel so worn