what not to do

i could write a novel on this topic.

anyways




do not:



firstly. be sitting in your room, which looks like russia has invented a bomb that contains masses of dresses and material, that accidently went off in your general vicinity. and do not NOT clean up or put the reminents of the explosion in a proper place.


secondly. do not decide that you will go looking in your garage, which seems like a whole world of absolute useless junk, and decide that from in this world, you will find something to put all of this material and dresses in- so you can use them at a later date.


thirdly.DO NOT DECIDE ON AN OLD BAR FRIDGE FOR THIS PURPOSE


fourthy. do not collect a bag of tools and unscrew the back, the top and the side screws of this fridge. then, do not get a MASSIVE pair of pliars- one that is so big it is half your size-and then use these to cut the chords and peices of metal that are connecting the back wire of the fridge to the bottom gear thingo.
because, from this a werid noise will begin to billow out of these cut peices of metal, and it will smell a little like gas or petrol


fifhty. at this point, do not take for granted if it occurs so that your brother will arrive home at that moment and say "what the hell are you doing millie" and automatically know that you are in a spot of bother.


sixthly. again, do not take for granted the fact that your ten year old brother seems to be smarter than you and cuts the bit of metal even further back and then bends the tip over itself so it stop the gassing buisness.


sevenly. at this point, do not think "okay it will be fine! yay, fridge here i come"

because i can tell you it will not be fine.


eithley. at this juncture. it would be advisible to retun the fridge whence it came, and go back to cutting up orange jungle-like cushion covers to hang on the wall so your room looks like a jungle.

it would not be advisible to, with much difficulty, drag out the fridge using one of those trolley things, and dump it on the grass. then rinse it out, and then proceed to again use this trolley to take the fridge into your room.


ninthley. from here, getting it into your room, do not attempt to put the bar fridge in various different positions, before deciding that, "you know what? this wont work."


tenthly. now, do not allow your brother to come into your room and point out the fact that your mother will murder you will a string of your odd socks when she discovers your evening activites. then, at this realisation, do not beg your brother to help you lift the fridge back up and onto the trolley, then wheel it to the garage. and when he refuses, do not offer him money. because then he wont be satisfied with only ten, but will lean against the wall until your offer goes up to twenty.


eleventhly. do not speed the fridge up the drive and into the garage, then very throughly attempt to eliminate any shrad of evidence that might suggest you had been dismantling a fridge and dragging it throughout the house.


twelthy. do not take for granted if your mother will have perfect timing and arrive home just as you had sat down. and then do not leave a dirty towel outside without an explanation.





this is what not to do.

"you know me, im impulisve"