31.12.09

adventures of years.

Before at Brett’s

June and Millie arrive. They walk in and there is Renee, Lois, Brett, and molly, Nick, Morgan and Taylah.

Taylah’s father had purchased her ten pulses for the evening and she had already consumed four by this time of eight o’clock.

Taylah is “pinging” in a sense and taking photos of people’s faces from around corners.

Taylah then proceeds to break a porcelain cow’s head that Brett’s mother had treasured from her childhood.

Millie falls on the ground squealing when she realises there are only two sleeps left until she get’s to see Sam again.

Lois wigs out at Millie wigging out.

Brett fills up a thermos with gin, vodka, wine, juice and lemonade, and some more gin.

Renee, Morgan, June, Lois and Millie then left after the arrival of Britt and Sharnie and the completion of a group photo and a story called the Canadian dingo, written by Millie.


The trek

Renee, Morgan, June, Lois and Millie all commence walking to Angus’.

None of them know where are they are really going.

Millie is drinking schnapps out of the bottle because she is a complete schnapps fiend,

and has a repetitive conversation with Morgan.


“Are we there yet?” millie asks

“Kinda, almost” Morgan responds

“We’re aren’t there yet are we?” millie asks again

“Not really?” morgan responds again

“Well, are we almost there?” millie again asks


June, Renee and Morgan are all singing and playing drop it like its hawt whilst the group of five is walking up the road.

Millie and Lois are at the back singing jungle book.

As lightening strikes the ground in the Far East, and occasionally lighting up the earth for a split second, the following is occurring;

June is drinking vodka and pine juice out of her HANDY bottle,

Morgan is consuming mascato out of a KFC plastic drink tub.

Renee is clutching a pineapple juice bottle filled with gin, Malibu and said pineapple juice

and Lois is waving around a pink drink bottle filled with vodka and apple and guava juice.

They arrive.


The party

From here on the author of this piece gets a bit confused.

Mostly because she is confused ninety-something percent of the time anyway,

but also because she was under he influence of schnapps.

  1. After having difficulty finding the path to where the music was coming from and confusion (from everyone) as to where the arrows were pointing, the group of five enter an open space.
  2. In this open space there is a cubby and house and people taking drinks out of their bag. There is also a wave of extremely loud music of the crap kind.
  3. It suddenly starts to spit, bearable spitting. It then equally as suddenly starts to pour down in buckets.
  4. The group of five make their way to a space under the cubby house where the rain is actually not saturating. Millie and June then take out a cigarette and starts smoking in the cramped confined space. Millie smokes that shit good to forget about their location. As people are standing on tables, and benches, sopping wet with rain and goon that people are spraying around in the air.
  5. People are aggressively dancing to the crap type music, people are screaming to it, and singing to it. There is mud everywhere, people are having goon poured into their mouth from a higher level and other people appear to have begun pinging, not on pulses, but on more serious type of drugs.
  6. Under the cubby house, Lois, Morgan, Renee, Millie and June are still sitting as people climbing down and up the steps keep stopping to shake hands.
  7. Lois then begins to say RATHER LOUDLY such things as

“I hate all these people!! These are all the people I hate!!”

A girl is sitting next to her talking and talking, and as Lois is on the phone she says to her “oh my god. I hate you.”

Lois then comes to the conclusion that the party is full of underage people, and she should steal their alcohol, even though they too were underage, but Lois figures they are more underage than she is.

“THIS FLIPPING PARTY IS SHEEP!

  1. June then goes out in the rain and disappears into the mad crowd.
  2. We do not see her until later when we ask her if she wishes to escape with us, she tilts her head sideways and says “im having fuuuuuun!” and then takes a swig from her bottle.
  3. Adam Broome approaches Millie and says something about how Millie used to hate him because he smoked, drank and did drugs. Millie doesn’t know what to say as she is holding her schnapps and a cigarette. Morgan laughs and says “Millaaay!!”

    Millie apologises for such behaviour and tries o make excuses. Then just keep on apologising. He say’s its okay and gives her a hug.

    Adam Broome hen approaches Millie again later and tells her something about a boat.

    “Oh I love boats can we go!!” Adam Broome begins to put his arm around Millie’s waist and she looks at Lois

    Lois then says to Millie, “MIILIE HE WANTS TO MAKE OUT WITH YOU, and HE DOESN’T KNOW YOU HAVE ABOYFRIEND”

    Millie turns to Adam Broome and then says “im sorry I have a boyfriend!”

    Adam say’s something and goes to a group of people who are spraying goon over everyone.

  4. “We’re fucking leaving” Lois says. Lois swears more than Millie when she is drunk.
  5. Millie decides she will ask her mother pick them up and take them back to Brett's, because walking to Brett's in such rain probably wouldn’t be the right choice.
  6. Millie, Renee, Lois and Morgan frantically grab their bags and belongings to run to the end of the road where Millie’s wonderful Mother is to meet them.
  7. Lois falls down in sludge just a few seconds after declaring she would lead the way out of this place. It was rather like someone sliding down a mud slide and landing like a dead ant with all their limbs in the air, but a dead ant holding a water bottle, filled with vodka.
  8. Renee then falls down again on the same path a few moments after Lois. The fact Renee just feel into a fence and onto the ground eludes Millie and if anything makes her more anxious to get clean ‘GET THE FUCK UP RENEE”
  9. Millie, Renee, Lois and Morgan proceed to walk down the hill to meet Millie’s mother. Lois is swearing about her hatred of the party. Renee is wet and is repeatedly “fucking her life,” Morgan is not saying that much, just telling everyone to scream ‘SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN,” and Millie is limping behind them, her shoe is broken and she is screaming ‘ALL I WANTED WAS TO GET SPIFFY. IT’S ALL I FUCKING WANTED! ON A HILL. ALL I WANTED WAS TO GET SPIFFY ON A HILL. FUCK I DON’T EVEN HAVE ANY CIGARETTES”
  10. At the end of the road Morgan and Lois sit down and Lois starts to play in puddles; “is it okay im playing in puddles?”
  11. Millie’s mother arrives and the group of four pile into the car and thank her over a million times. When they arrive at Bretts house Millie asks her mother if she has any cigarettes, her mother responds with “I might have left them at home, oh, look in my bag and see if there are any there.” Millie looks, and there is. She takes a few and says goodbye to her mother.


Back at Bretts

From this point on the author get’s even more confused, because of her sudden and heavy intake of schnapps.

  1. Lois, Morgan, Renee and Millie enter Brett's house wet and angry
  2. Renee, Morgan and Millie go into the bathroom and all shower in their underpants, the water is warm, this is good.
  3. They all get clean
  4. Somewhere along the way Millie put on a Ben folds five album and drinks excessively and dances excessively.
  5. Renee also lies on the couch wanting to nap but still drinking her vodka at the same time. Renee did not think that process through.
  6. Millie isn’t sure what Morgan was doing, though she was there with them. But Millie was more focused on the schnapps and Ben Folds.
  7. Somewhere along the way the Year actually ended. Politicians were dong the count down
  8. Renee Morgan and Millie then watched video hits, all still schnapping, napping, and being.
  9. Millie then falls asleep somehow in between dancing an drinking
  10. Millie is woken up and is moved into the other room with Morgan and Renee. They watch kill bill and eat pasta. Millie discovers Garlic salt.
  11. they fall asleep


The morning

In the morning numerous things happened. Renee was very tired, Morgan cleaned everything, Millie was possibly still drunk and lost her shit when she discovered Brett’s sock tub, Brett threw up his stomach lining, but it was actually just bile, Lois felt like throwing up, Molly and Nick were naked in Brett’s parents’ bed.

Millie then sneaked bottles into another recycling bin and got attacked by a wild dog, but not really.

Then everyone went home and slept. Except Morgan- who went to work

It was wet and cold and muddy and disastrous,


but Millie thinks it was massive fun :)







24.11.09

what not to do

i could write a novel on this topic.

anyways




do not:



firstly. be sitting in your room, which looks like russia has invented a bomb that contains masses of dresses and material, that accidently went off in your general vicinity. and do not NOT clean up or put the reminents of the explosion in a proper place.


secondly. do not decide that you will go looking in your garage, which seems like a whole world of absolute useless junk, and decide that from in this world, you will find something to put all of this material and dresses in- so you can use them at a later date.


thirdly.DO NOT DECIDE ON AN OLD BAR FRIDGE FOR THIS PURPOSE


fourthy. do not collect a bag of tools and unscrew the back, the top and the side screws of this fridge. then, do not get a MASSIVE pair of pliars- one that is so big it is half your size-and then use these to cut the chords and peices of metal that are connecting the back wire of the fridge to the bottom gear thingo.
because, from this a werid noise will begin to billow out of these cut peices of metal, and it will smell a little like gas or petrol


fifhty. at this point, do not take for granted if it occurs so that your brother will arrive home at that moment and say "what the hell are you doing millie" and automatically know that you are in a spot of bother.


sixthly. again, do not take for granted the fact that your ten year old brother seems to be smarter than you and cuts the bit of metal even further back and then bends the tip over itself so it stop the gassing buisness.


sevenly. at this point, do not think "okay it will be fine! yay, fridge here i come"

because i can tell you it will not be fine.


eithley. at this juncture. it would be advisible to retun the fridge whence it came, and go back to cutting up orange jungle-like cushion covers to hang on the wall so your room looks like a jungle.

it would not be advisible to, with much difficulty, drag out the fridge using one of those trolley things, and dump it on the grass. then rinse it out, and then proceed to again use this trolley to take the fridge into your room.


ninthley. from here, getting it into your room, do not attempt to put the bar fridge in various different positions, before deciding that, "you know what? this wont work."


tenthly. now, do not allow your brother to come into your room and point out the fact that your mother will murder you will a string of your odd socks when she discovers your evening activites. then, at this realisation, do not beg your brother to help you lift the fridge back up and onto the trolley, then wheel it to the garage. and when he refuses, do not offer him money. because then he wont be satisfied with only ten, but will lean against the wall until your offer goes up to twenty.


eleventhly. do not speed the fridge up the drive and into the garage, then very throughly attempt to eliminate any shrad of evidence that might suggest you had been dismantling a fridge and dragging it throughout the house.


twelthy. do not take for granted if your mother will have perfect timing and arrive home just as you had sat down. and then do not leave a dirty towel outside without an explanation.





this is what not to do.












"you know me, im impulisve"



 
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