in sync

i have given up trying to label myself

crazy

fucked up

anorexic

suicidal

depressed

because in the end. these are all they are, labels. labels for convenience, to sort things into jars. and then in the end all i am is me. i dont know these labels i come under, i dont even know if i do

but i am just me. who say's i am anything?

i dont, not anymore. and i think the day i give up labels, the day i stop to do things and immediatley think how that matched the actions of an anorexic, the day i give up doing this. is possibly the day the knot inside my chest untightens a tiny bit.
the day that maybe a few ripples have been taken away and i no longer need to worry about where i fit or who i am

i have also learnt that, life isnt perfect. and those perfect moments you dream that should be perfect, that should go a certain way?

well i have finally learnt that it will never go like this. perfection is happiness in a moment, no matter what is happening, what the weather is doing, how fat you feel. perfection comes from the inside and tells you it is perfect, that is a perfect moment.

the world will never be in sync with you, so dont pretend it will be.

gan night

i am currently sitting on the floor

behind the bed

no where near the teevee, however

i am at GN night

that is gang night :)

we are watching miami ink. apparently there is a london ink,

but this is of no importance.

the room suddenly went quiet.

molly is on the phone to her friend lisa,

as she just found out, via facebook

that lisa brokeup with her boyfriend.

anyway, as i said. this is of no importance.

1. chan is sittng in front of the teevee, watching everyone and being thoughtful

2. lois is arguing against the fact she bought a top from cotton on

and now jesse is calling her METRO

3. jesse is lying on the bed, looking confused, and playing with his hair.

4. taylah is lying inbetween jesse and brett.

most likely plotting some sortof evilplan. actually she was just talking about her puppy.

5. brett is sitting up, taking about facebook (what is new) and staring into the sky,

and just contributed to jesse and taylah' conversation about THUMBS

6. georgia is sitting in front of brett,

and consequently in front of me and the tv,

on her phone and talking to jake, her boyfriend of one million years.

we are discussing what we should jake should have for dinner

i suggested fried rice with ginger and manderins

but she told him just to have a toasted sandwhich

7. morgan is sitting next to me,

possiby reading this as i am writing, but she is way into miami ink and is very tired after work

8. molly, next to morgan. is now a little depressed,

from just gaining the knowledge that lisa and her boyfriend divoced.

9. kelly is lying across the bed, across everyones legs, and she isnt actually speaking.

but she did stick her head up a moment ag and did a loud kelly type laugh

it is silent again, which is very odd

"i want a tattoo of michael myer"

"i want one of michael jackson on my handm so when molly wakes up it will be right next to her."

goodbye.